The Wedding Singer
by ChipsAhoyPup
Summary: Light is a wedding singer. L is getting married. What happens when the two fall in love? Yaoi, LxLight. Also LxBB and LightxMisa.
1. L, The New Waiter

**The Wedding Singer**

**ChipsAhoypup**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Wedding Singer, nor do I own Death Note.**

**Full Summary: Light is a wedding singer. L is getting married. What happens when the two fall in love? **

**Warning: Yaoi! If you don't like it, don't read it!**

**LxBB, LightxMisa, LxLight.**

Light smiled and scanned the crowd of dancing couples. Another wonderful wedding. He enjoyed singing to the happy pairs. It made him strangely happy himself. He took a deep, quiet breath, and got ready for the next song.

"You spin me right round, baby, right round, like a record, baby, right round, round, round," He sang.

Once he finished the song, applause filled the room. "The best man is going to come up here and say a few words, so let's give it up for the groom's brother, Mello," Announced Light. A young man (or was it a woman?) ran up and knocked Light away from the microphone. He clutched a chocolate bar in one hand and the microphone in the other. He wore all leather, making him look like a punk, and his blonde hair went up to his chin, a bob.

"My brother… Near… asked me to be the best man… and I said, 'Of course, man.' And… when I was in rehab… and, uh, one time I couldn't find my car… because Near, you know, he's always been the dependable one… and I've always been the screwed up one… right, Roger? 'Why can't you be more like your brother? Near would never beat up another orphan.'" Mello rambled. Collective gasps came from the crowd. Light looked around uncertainly, trying to figure out how to get Mello to shut up.

Mello laughed for a moment, then coughed a couple times and continued, "Newsflash, Roger: Near ain't so perfect. Remember that time in Puerto Rico, we picked up those two… well, uh, I guess they were prostitutes, but I don't remember paying."

More gasps. Light had to stop this guy before he ruined the wedding. He struggled to get the microphone from Mello. "Heh, how about that, huh? How about that?" Light asked lightly, but Mello had to open his mouth again.

"I'm a person too, Roger, goddammit, I'm a person too!" Mello snapped, looking pissed.

"You're a moron," A person whom Light guessed was Roger replied. Mello made a face and turned away.

"The best man, everybody," Light said, gesturing towards Mello.

"The best man… the better man," Mello snickered. He banged his chocolate against the cymbal, and walked away, chuckling to himself.

Light made a kind, smiling face. "Uh… hey… we've all done crazy things in our lives, so—" Light was interrupted by a strumming sound. He turned to see Mello playing the guitar. "He's playing the guitar now, isn't that great? Heh… you're really good," He lied, not wanting to make Mello angrier.

"Yeah, that's good?" Mello asked, smirking and continuing to play. "I'm only the best guitar player in the world. Self-taught, no lessons, thank you very much, ROGER." Mello grumpily strode away again.

"Alright," Light sighed.

"You'll be divorced within a year," Mello growled from the back of the room. Everyone in the crowd gasped again.

"I think, uh, when we fall in love, the emptiness kinda drifts away," Light said softly. "I've, uh, done some crazy things in my life too… Then I met a very special girl… a girl who I'm actually marrying next week." Applause very quietly filled the air, for only a few seconds. "Thank you, thank you…" Light continued a nice little speech about love, and the fact that Near and his bride would be happy for years.

'Aww's filled the air, and Mello murmured to himself sadly, "That's a good wedding singer.."

Light decided to take a little break, so he left Mikami to sing to the crowd and walked away. "Give me tiiiiime," Sang Mikami from behind him as he left.

"Good save, wedding singer," Someone called, followed by more praise from others in the crowd. Light smirked to himself and continued walking.

"Hey, Matsuda, how come you're not out with your limo, what's up?" Light asked as he came up to someone holding a shot glass and leaning against a counter.

"The new waiter, that's what's up…" Matsuda gestured towards a young man with a hunched back, who silently was giving out food. His raven hair was a mess, all spiked up like he had just rolled out of bed. His clothes weren't very formal; a long-sleeved, baggy white shirt, a pair of jeans. Beat-up shoes with no socks. Light almost shuddered, but stifled it as Matsuda continued, "Boy, is he in trouble. He's gonna get it, and he won't even know it, and I'm gonna give it to him."

Light snorted, trying not to let his disgust show. Was Matsuda serious? "Take it easy, man. Who is he?"

"He's A's cousin. If he's half as easy as A, I'll close this deal at the end of the week," Matsuda murmured. Light vaguely remembered A, the timid waiter who ended up killing himself. Light still couldn't recall why A had committed suicide, but someone had once told him that he was under some sort of pressure of which Light couldn't understand.

As the raggedly-looking waiter walked by a table, his silver tray slamming into some poor guy's head. The guy grunted in pain, and the waiter stopped to apologize curtly.

"I don't think that's gonna happen," Light grumbled.

"Oh, please. It's his first day. Always takes them at _least_ three weeks to realize they shouldn't date anyone at work," Matsuda replied with a vague hint of a smirk.

"For some reason, you like to be the guy who helps them realize that, don't you?" Light asked, unable to hide a smirk himself. _Matsuda, you're such a pervert,_ He added silently, as his friend nodded in agreement.

"Yes, I do," Matsuda muttered.

"You want to be like Fonzy, don't you?" Light joked quietly.

"Yes, I do," Repeated Matsuda.

"You're on your way," Light assured the man, rolling his eyes and taking a sip of his wine.

Meanwhile, the new waiter was having some problems. He couldn't seem to get anywhere without people grabbing at his butt. He sighed in annoyance and headed into the kitchen. "Prime rib, please," He muttered in monotone as he placed a tray full of trash onto the counter.

"More prime rib, always the prime rib, make them eat the fish," Ordered the chef. The waiter sighed.

"Three prime rib," Chirped a pretty girl, her black hair up to her chin. She was wearing a mini-skirt and a tank-top.

"Your wish is my command, Takada," The chef said, turning to make more prime ribs.

"How come he's so nice to you?" The new waiter asked, turning to observe Takada.

"I let him look at my boobs at the Christmas party last year," Takada replied huffily. "Not my finest half-hour, but it's been a pleasant working environment ever since."

The new waiter sort of gaped. He shook his head to clear his thoughts and blinked.

"So, how's your first night going, L?" Asked Takada, saying his name in a whisper.

"It's just that being at this wedding makes me realize that B is never going to set a date, and I've been wearing this ring for two years and I feel like an idiot," L muttered dryly.

"Hey, you know what you must do?" The chef turned and opened up his coat, revealing the words 'Relax' splayed across his shirt. "Relax."

L gave him a puzzled look, and the chef simply shrugged, putting his hands up innocently and turning away. "I just feel stupid for moving here to be closer to him," L sighed.

"Okay, I think you need a break. Go out back and get some air, I'll cover your tables," Takada suggested, gently pushing L towards the exit.

Meanwhile, Light noticed a kid with a wine glass, looking woozy. "You okay?" He asked, retrieving the glass from him. "You gonna throw up?"

"…Yeah…" The kid admitted, his voice raspy.  
"Come with me, man." Light led him towards the exit.

Mikami had finished his song. He looked around; that was the only song he knew. Defeated, he started the same song over again. "Give me tiiime~" Everyone in the crowd either stared at him, shocked, or glared in annoyance. Some were a mixture of both.

Light helped the kid outside, quickly ushering him to the dumpster. The kid leaned over and puked his guts out; Light instinctively looked away and noticed the new waiter sitting on the step, staring at him. "Hey," Light chuckled.

"Is he a friend of yours?" L asked, gesturing towards the young, sick boy.

**A/N That's all for now. Whew. This story is long. Please review if you'd like me to continue. :3**


	2. Misa Stands Light Up

**The Wedding Singer**

**ChipsAhoypup**

**Disclaimer: I don't own The Wedding Singer, nor do I own Death Note.**

**Full Summary: Light is a wedding singer. L is getting married. What happens when the two fall in love? **

**Warning: Yaoi! If you don't like it, don't read it!**

**LxBB, LightxMisa, LxLight.**

Light smirked. "Me? No… I just couldn't let him do it in front of his family." The kid made loud barfing noises even as Light spoke.

"Well, I'm glad I got to see it," Said L, slightly sarcastic. (Did I say slightly?)

Light murmured to the kid, who had finished throwing up, and gently pushed him towards the door. "Remember, alcohol equals puke equals smelly mess equals no body likes you."

Unluckily for Light, just then, Mello came up. He was offering to help the kid inside; Light didn't see this as a good idea and pushed the kid inside, simultaneously pushing Mello towards the parking lot. "Why don't you go this way?"

Mello argued, but Light eventually got him to leave. Mello turned and continued walking, this time backwards. "Hey, wedding singer…" Mello proceeded to howl like some deranged, chocolate-drunk wolf. He abruptly stopped howling and stumbled backwards, dropping his bar of chocolate, which hit the ground with a crack. With that, he walked away.

Light turned and noticed that the new waiter was watching him; he also had a can of something next to him. "You drinking too?"

"No… it's Coca-cola," L replied.

"Are you sure? There's no rum in that Coca-cola?" Light raised his eyebrows.

"I don't drink." L said monotonously. (…This isn't a line from the movie, but I'm gonna have to adjust the lines to make them seem more in character.)

Light decided to get way off subject. "How are you doing? I'm Light." He held out his hand for the new waiter to shake. The waiter hesitated, before answering:

"I'm Ryuzaki… I'm actually waiting at your wedding next week." As L said this, he politely shook Light's hand for a moment before retreating.

"Cool," Light said, even though his mind was shouting: _Oh, God, no!_ He really didn't like this Ryuzaki person… He looked so suspicious and cold. "Hm… you have a ring. Are you getting married too?" He forced himself to continue the conversation; walking away would seem rude.

"Well… the guy who gave this to me… I'm not sure how serious he is about getting married…" Ryuzaki looked away. Light felt disgusted and quickly wiped his hand that Ryuzaki had shaken furiously against his shirt. _Ew! He's gay!_ (Yes, Light is a homophobe. I hate him for it, but it seems in-character.)

Ryuzaki looked back at Light just as the wedding singer had stopped wiping his hand. "I know, you probably think I'm revolting, but—"

Just then, the door opened. "You have to get back in there, people are starting to turn on Mikami," Matsuda advised Light.

And Matsuda wasn't lying. Inside the place, Mikami was singing, "Do you really want to hurt me~" (The same song AGAIN. How original.)

"YOU SUCK!" People in the crowd screamed. Apparently they DID want to hurt Mikami.

"Nice to meet you," Lied Light, nodding at Ryuzaki coolly and heading for the door.

"Nice to meet you too. Maybe if I ever get married, you can sing at my wedding," Ryuzaki suggested. Light faltered before turning around and shaking Ryuzaki's hand once more.

"It's a deal." _Hopefully you'll be dead by then._ With that, Light went to save the day. Or, well, Mikami's day.

Light was teaching his successor (Yes, he has a successor) to sing. He played the piano in time of her singing. She was a little old lady, very frail-looking. Her name was Rem.

"Much better," Light smiled when she finished. "Try not to let your voice shake too much, and you'll be perfect."

"…I hope your wedding sucks," Rem growled.

"I'm sorry, I meant, you were perfect."

"Oh, thank you! You know, no body will be looking down on you tomorrow," Rem chattered happily. "You'll be such a happy couple!"

And then Rem started talking about virginity and intercourse. Poor Light was a virgin, and also, he wanted Rem to stop talking about it. "…It's five o'clock, I'd better get going," Light decided, glad for the excuse.

"Oh! But your payment!" Rem squealed.

"My payment? Um, can I get it to go?" Light asked, collecting his stuff.

"You're such a sweet boy, letting an old woman pay with meatballs!" Rem called as she ran into the kitchen.

"Well, they taste so good, it feels like I'm ripping you off, Remmy," Light said, lying once again. It seemed that lying was a hobby to him, the way he did it so often.

Rem came back with the pot of meatballs. "I don't have any clean Tupperware!"

"Well… next time then, okay, Remmy?"

"Don't be silly! Hold out your hands," Rem ordered. Light reluctantly started to hold out his hands, and Rem helped by yanking them up. She spooned two meatballs out into Light's hands.

"Oh, t-thanks…" Light muttered. _EW. MY POOR, CLEAN HANDS HAVE MEATBALL SAUCE IN THEM. NOW I NEED A SHOWER,_ He screamed in his head.He took a polite bite out of one of the meatballs, after some encouragement from Rem of course. "T-that's a good meatball…"

"Now, Light, listen to me!" Rem cried, placing her hands on Light's hands, and thus, squishing the meatballs into his already dirty palms. "You're going to make a fine husband!"  
"I hope so Remmy… thanks," Light said, trying not to look as disgusted as he felt. He had to back away and get her to release her grip before he could get away. "I'll see you at the wedding."

L was getting dropped off at the wedding so that he could wait. He stared at the sign as he thanked Watari for driving him.

"Look at that girl," Watari said gruffly, pointing at the picture of Light and the girl he was marrying. "You're a lot prettier than that girl."

L wasn't sure whether or not to take that as a compliment. He decided that Watari said it as an intentional compliment, and replied, "I guess B doesn't think so." With that, L exited the car, leaving Watari to sit there confused, wondering what he'd said wrong.

At the wedding, the orchestra was playing Don't Stop Believing by Journey. (Yes, that song is win.) Mikami was crying, possibly because he was at an emotional wedding… or because he may want Light to himself. We're going with the latter.

Light stood awkwardly. Misa wasn't here yet. _This is not just as planned._

"Perhaps we should call her?" Suggested the priest.

"No… she probably has a make-up problem or something… I know she wants to look her best," Light said. The priest nodded and backed away again.

Suddenly, a girl came up and grabbed Light's hands. It wasn't Misa. "Light, I just got off the phone with Misa's mom… Misa's not there, but, she left a note."

"A note…?" Light had a feeling this wasn't a good thing.

"It… basically indicated that… Misa is… not coming today…" The girl said slowly. Light's forced smile quickly turned to a frown.

"Did she say why?" Light asked quietly. The girl shook her head.

"I'm so sorry."

"It's okay… just… give me a second, I'll be right back." Light turned and walked slowly away. L watched from a distance, confused, as Light walked into a little tent that sat outside. The song continued playing.

Inside the tent, Light stared in the mirror, muttering encouragement to himself, trying not to freak out. Too late. Light screamed and threw the mirror. The shattering sound gave him some sort of satisfaction, as if murdering the innocent mirror had helped him recover.

In the crowd, Mikami cried. "Oh God," He whimpered. Rem nudged his shoulder, trying to reassure him that it'd be alright.

Inside Light's house, the day after the failed wedding, the TV played. "It's a nice day for a white wedding~" Billy Idol sang on the TV. Little did Billy know that he was just making someone in the house more depressed.

Little kids ran around, crying out, "Can't catch me!" and "I'm gonna chop you up!"

"Can we turn this crap off, please?" Light asked, meaning the TV.

"That's right, Light… you have to let it out, man," Aizawa said.

"You know… after what that lousy bitch did to you today," Matsuda added.

"Don't call her that. Because then we're going to get back together, and there's going to be weirdness between you and me. Watch it," Light grumbled.

One of the little kids, who had claws and a scary-looking mask, came up and said, "I made this for you, uncle Light." He handed a picture to Light.

"Thanks, Freddy Kruger." Light stared at the picture. It was a picture of him and Misa. Misa was complete with poorly-drawn red devil horns, a goatee, and a moustache. "That's not nice," Light admonished. "Very creative, though." He handed the picture over to Freddy (We'll call him Freddy for now x3) who took it and walked away.

Light also got up and walked away, claiming he needed fresh air.

Outside, Light held a figurine of a bride. He had taken it straight off the top of his wedding cake, so that only a groom remained. He noticed Misa walking up the sidewalk, twirling her hair. "Hey. You're late," Light said quietly.

"I'm sorry. I couldn't do it," Misa said.

"If you need more time, I guess I could wait…" Light trailed off.

"I don't need more time. I never want to get married to you," Misa replied.

"Well, this is something that could've been brought to my attention _yesterday_," Light growled.

Misa started babbling about how she had loved Light when he was in a band. And not anymore. Light rolled his eyes.

"Once again, SOMETHING THAT COULD'VE BEEN BROUGHT TO MY ATTENTION YESTERDAY!" He snapped. He turned and walked inside, slamming the door in Misa's face. Misa sighed and went to her car, driving away.

**A/N Misa is very OOC in this. And, when it comes to Misa, Light's OOC too. Sorry about that. ^^; I'm trying to make them more in character. Especially by making Light think things that aren't said in the movie. It makes things easier. :3 **


End file.
